My throat hurts and I feel like I barely have the will even go through the motions today. I think I have just let myself get rundown. I hate it when I get sick.....
I had to pull A out of BBall. He's been getting in trouble lately for screaming, hitting and doing stuff he should not be doing. After 2 of these incidents, back to back, I told him that I put him in hte BBall because of the way his behavior was improving, and that if he didn't get his anger or emotions under control I would have to take him out. That lasted 3 days, then he hit a boy with a jumprope and then through it at the DayCare counselor (hitting her in the face). So, bye bye BBall. Its a shame too, cause he was good when he listened to the coach. I really liked watching his games...
Ok, now for some good news, sorta. I think the job in Gonzales is still on the table. I turned it down a while back because it did not feel right. They are a client of my current employer, and it felt wrong to go and take them away. And at that time, I don't think the company would have made it if I did. I still don't think they will make it, but for different reasons now. Then, the problem was that nobody wantd to do their job. That has gotten better, and Henry hired his "Golden Child," and he is reasonably intelligent - however, he will not follow directions. several times, I have seen him on something, and it was something the company had run into before, so I tell him how to handle it. Most people would atleast try it. Not him, he has to waste atleast 3 more hours on a dead end, then try it (maybe)...
I still have mixed feelings about that job. I will pay better(about 6000 better). And I think it would be a great place to work (people wise). I think the work will be extremely challenging. The only real draw back is the drive. I think I have maybe psyched myself out about it too... I guess I need to make a decision, I just don't know what decision to make.
Hmmm, what should I blog about? Well, there is A. He seems to be relapsing a little. He has had 2 very angry outbursts at daycare this week. I don't know what's going on, but they were pretty bad. For the first one, he shoved a little girl and called her an "N" ... What is up with that? He should not even know that word. And it was a sweet little girl any way. The next day he was repeated screaming at his sister, then he kicked her and took his game that he loaned her and smashed it... He is already punished for a lot of other stuff that has been happening, so we had a talk, and if it happens again, he is coming out of basketball. I am not taking him in public if he is going to behave this way...
There's also my little Pearl. Things are ok there, but we did have an issue just before Vday... I planned a really great present, one that she knew I wanted to do. But apparently, she could not wait for me to do it. At the same time, she was moving. It was ugly. She hurt my feelings / pride buy not letting me give her the present she wanted; and it bothered her that I didn't help her move. But I really didn't want to anyway, due to something she had said (months ago) to her friends that were helping her move. We eventually talked about it and its OK now.
Ooh! I can't forget about work. I regret not taking that other job in Gonzales every day. Some days I want to quit so bad that I can barely stand to go in. There have been several days where I haven't done anything at all.
In general, things should be ok. I have a good girl that really cares about me. I have a Job that pays the bills. And I have 2 wonderful kids that love me. But sometimes I think about things that could have been, maybe even should have been. I remind myself that I am here for a reason, but it just seems like there was a time in my life when I was more passionate, creative. A time when my feelings, good and bad, were tangible. Sometimes it hurt, but when it didn't... :)
Well, I guess thats all the soul searching I can do for 1 night.....
