+++ Tears On The Palm Of My Hands +++

A letter to the school board
Sunday, December 09, 2007

December 7, 2007

Livingston Parish School Board Hearing Officer

P. O. Box 1130

Livingston, La

70754

Dear Sir or Madam:

I would like to formally request an appeal of the suspension of W. A. G., which was given to him on the afternoon of Tuesday, December 4, 2007 by Mrs. Painter at Southside Elementary.

According to the calls and documentation that I received from Mrs. Painter on Tuesday, this incident appears to be centered around the poking of another student with a thumb-tack while at lunch in the cafeteria. A. was given 2 days of suspension for the poking of the student and an additional day of suspension for “stealing” – as he took the thumb-tack form the door of another classroom while running errands for his teacher.

While I do feel that both of these items are inappropriate, and should be addressed, I do not feel that either of these merits suspension. A. maintains that the poking of the student was accidental, and occurred after he was bumped into while playing with the thumb-tack. Additionally, I have heard numerous accounts of lesser punishment being handed out for similar incidents at schools in Livingston and surrounding parishes. Most of these involve contacting the parents and some form of in-school disciplinary action such as a trip to the office, no recess, paddling, and detention.

I do understand that past incidents have to be taken into consideration, and am aware that he has had violent outbursts in the beginning of the year. I have always supported the school and their disciplinary actions in the past – when they were warranted. However, I do not believe that the school administration has taken into consideration anything other than the fact that he has had 2 other suspensions. I do not feel that they have actually compared the incidents in any way. If they had, they could not fail to see that his past incidents were very violent and angry in nature. They were the actions of a very different boy, who was angry and hurt by his circumstances, a boy who spoke of wanting to die or just go to Hell because that is what he deserved. This incident is what I would consider the poor judgment of a 9 year old boy, which should be dealt with like it was any other 9 year old at the school.

As a direct result of the previous incidents at school and the very beneficial input offered by the school administration and teachers, I have sought professional help for my son. He has been actively participating in weekly counseling sessions with a professional counseling service. Since he begun these sessions, everyone has seen a complete turnaround in his attitude, behavior and performance. I have received several calls from school personnel to comment on these changes; additionally he has become more involved with friends and church activities. In my opinion, we are dealing with a different child than the one that began school in August.

I have also heard that there were 2 other similar incidents that weighed on Mrs. Painters decision to suspend A. for the 3^rd time. The only one that I know about is an incident where he brought an upholstery needle to school. At the beginning of class, he removed it from his back-pack and brought it directly to his teacher, Mrs. Wolfarth. I received a call later that morning from Mrs. Pasha to verify that he got it from where he said, and to compliment him on showing good judgment and taking it directly to his teacher as soon as he found it. As for the “other” incident, Mrs. Painter did not bother to elaborate on it, and I have never been contacted by the school to discuss it.

As I have mentioned, this is A.’s 3^rd suspension. I will be the first to admit that the first 2 suspensions were warranted and justified. I regret that I was blind to the more serious nature of the first of these, and delayed in seeking professional help. I have rectified that and it is working. A. is finally getting some self confidence and a drive to please me and his teachers. I fear that this suspension is going to cause a set-back with his progress, and be counter productive to achieving the end result that we all should want – a well adjusted child that will succeed in school and life.

What’s more, based on the phone conversations I had with Mrs. Painter, I am afraid that she may have been personally hurt or offended by A. in 1 or more of his previous outbursts. The tension that I heard in her voice seemed to go deeper than the frustration she would feel at having to suspend a child from school. If coupled with what I feel is an obvious over-reaction to typical school incidents – I get the feeling that A. is being set up for failure.

A. is not the same now as he was then. I am not making excuses for his behavior, but pointing out that I have come to understand his behavior and the help that I have sought is paying off. While past behavior should weigh on any decisions that are made, it should weigh-in in its entirety; this includes the action, circumstances and results of those past incidents.

A. has worked hard to adjust. His behavior is much improved. He has a more sincere and helpful attitude, and his grades are finally starting to reflect the kind of work that I know he is capable of. He is proud of what he has accomplished. I do not know how to maintain this type of attitude when everything he has worked for will be negated. The 0’s that he received for the tests he has missed this week are sure to pull his grades back down to where they were before or lower. He now has to go to school everyday with a reminder that the school will Expel him if he does anything wrong. Is this the kind of stress and pressure that we want to put on a student that has verbally and physically expressed suicidal thoughts? Is this how we build up a child with low self-esteem? Is this how we show a child that we want him to succeed?

If discipline is needed, I am the first to get onboard. But the punishment should fit the misdeed. In this instance, it does not. I am asking that the school board please reconsider A.’s suspension and allow him to make up the work he has missed. He is working hard to become a great student, let’s encourage that. If we want him to be a well adjusted boy, then let’s treat him like the other boys – until the situation requires us to treat him differently. If not, we are only reinforcing his own notion that he is not good enough to be with everyone else.

Sincerely,

Kids will be the death of me ;-)
Wednesday, December 05, 2007

So, I get a call from the school yesterday. A is being suspended. Apparently he poked a kid with a thumb-tack. I know he has had a lot of issues with behavior at school, but this isn't any where near that level of incident. Since I have had him in counseling, his grades are going up; his behavior is WAY better, and his personality is changing to that of a little boy who is a bit hyper and a little self conscious - as opposed to that of an angry boy who can't control his temper and has no respect for authority. The more I think about it, this is seeming like over kill.

Yes, I understand that it is wrong to poke some one with a thumb-tack, I don't dispute that. But how many kids at this school have done the same thing and received only a mark on the board, or a few minutes in the principals office? How many other kids have done that and worse, and only lost a recess? I am not saying that he should not be punished, but a suspension is a bit extreme.

They justify it by saying he was warned several times about this, but that is a partial truth. Yes he was warned about having sharp objects at school. this happened a week ago when he brought an upholstery hook to school. But they didn't find the hook, he took it to his teacher at the beginning of the day and said I found this in my booksack. As for why he had it, that's easy, its mine, and its cool looking. He had it, maybe just looking at it, maybe trying to sew up his booksack, maybe some other reason all together. It is one that I had, it was threaded when he found it (but not when I got it back from the school), I don't know what he had done with it or how long he had it. All I know is last Monday, he took it to his teacher when school started and said this was in my booksack.

That is the only warning I know about. Mrs. Painter also cited another warning. Specifically she said he had been warned twice, but she never offered a date or any details about this supposed other warning. The only other recent thing was an incident of disrespect (actually several during the day.) This was dealt with. But I feel that maybe they are holding grudges.

A has had a lot of problems this year. He became very troubled, which manifested in violent outbursts, self-degradation, and very hurtful speech toward himself and others. He has been seeing a counselor who has helped tremendously. His grades are up, all of them. Since counseling has started, he is like a different kid. I have gotten numerous compliments from others on the positive changes in his behavior and attitude, including from the school and his church. However, when I was speaking with Mrs. Painter yesterday, I got the impression that she is not weighing yesterdays incident on its own merits, or viewing it in the light of his recent turnaround. Yes, he has had violent outbursts (throwing books and yelling) but poking a kid with a thumb-tack is not a violent outburst - not even close. Did I mention that they included stealing in his list of "charges" ... apparently he took the thumb-tack from the wall or door of another classroom while running errands..... I think stealing is a bit strong of a description of that, but they used that to add another day to his suspension.

I think this is going to set him back rather than help with the situation. He is convinced that he isn't capable of going to school. Not to mention, I am sure he feels like all the hard-work he has put into improving his behavior and grades these past couple of months was for nothing. This leaves me unsure of what reaction I should have. I know he broke a rule and should be punished. But with the level of overkill they are exercising here, I am not sure it is possible for me to be fair to him. I don't believe this was a serious incident and warrants more than a talking to. But it is also his 3rd suspension this year, and now I will miss 3 days work in order to take care of him, both of which are very serious. I suppose the only thing I can do is punish him for what I see as wrong. For having a thumb-tack at lunch, for lying about where he got it, and for getting suspended.

Already ? !
Sunday, December 02, 2007

Yep, here it is, Christmas time again... So far, it is like every other Christmas I have had. the crap is already starting and I am sure it won't let up any time soon. Have i mentioned that I don't much like Christmas?

Anyway. 1) Not long ago, Regions screwed me on my account. 2) I now have an extra $200 monthly coming out of my funds for some stuff going on with Adrian. 3) I got a promotion and a raise, only it is not much of a raise. I basically just takes away my overtime, but will require me to do more in the evenings in order to prepare for the next day.... 4) I screwed up and did not get my time sheet done before 8:00 am on Monday, then at 8:00 I was trying to help everyone else get theirs in and my bosses submitted the payroll at 8:05. They never submitted it until after lunch before this. So I was out a full weeks pay until the next payday, which will be in 1 more week. 5) Oh, and this past week was my last week on hourly. Since I have tons to do, I figured I would knock it out and get a fat OT check before the Holidays. Not! I ended up sick. I missed 2 full days due to some stupid stomach virus. Normally that won't keep me away from work, but this one was a Doozie....

So, as usual, I am heading into Christmas wishing it were July. Happy Holidays everyone....