First of all, I hate this damn medicine!!! Its like I can't get enough sleep. By 10:30 at night I cannot hold my eyes open. That sux cause I like the evenings after the kids go to bed. Thats the only time I have to my self.. Now that is gone too... I don't like taking it, but without it, well lets just say I'm not a happy healthy person.... and I don't sleep at all....
Secondly, I still think about her. I can't figure out why, though. If any one has any ideas, I would greatly appreciate them, really, I would.... We were together just over 5 months... 1 month was perfect, 2.5 months were not that great, and 1.5 were horrible.... I blame myself for ruining it... I always have, but that does not explain why I am having so much trouble letting go... I just do not understand it... It has been over 2 months since I have seen her, yet I cannot stop thinking about her. I feel like an idiot, I really do. I wish I could get her out of my mind, but that just isn't happening. I wish I could be angry with her, cause that would help, but I am not. Its not her fault, its mine.
Thirdly, Work is a bitch... There is too much drama there. A CEO got canned, files from the HardDrive were deleted. A friend of mine was implecated. Now my boss wants to fire me cause I am on her myspace page. What a F-in crock... Says the client is putting extreme pressure on them to do it.. Now to be fair, its not all of my bosses (I have several) Its mostly one. I feel I have the others confidence, but this one is the one that is trying to (atleast I think he is) get me out. Not sure why. He is also the same one that freaked out ove a stupid accusation that turned out to be bogus (in that incident he wanted to cann me without even asking me about it).... I am trying not to get upset about it... But that is hard, It pisses me off that he pretends to be all fair, but he is the least fair of the bunch. He is the first to believe someone else, and the last to look at the whole picture....
Lastly, I dreamed last night... Thats a big deal, cause it is the first time since I figured out she was done with me. It was a stupid dream, full of gang violence and blood, but atleast it was a dream.... :) kinda glad of that...
posted by Mr. Mom @ 6:45 AM
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